Why “Doing everything right” doesn’t make you happy
Monday, October 22nd, 2007I met a woman this weekend who had done everything right.
She went to good schools. She had a great job and she was successful at it. She married the right guy who had a high-paying job, and the two of them lived in a wonderful apartment on the Upper West Side of Manhattan. From the outside, she was living an idyllic life that most would envy.
Except, she was getting a divorce from her “perfect” husband, and she felt that her life was completely out of balance. She was spending too much time at her job, which she really didn’t have a passion for, and she didn’t really think she had any passion at all.
Her idyllic life was imploding and she was realizing that she was miserable in it.
I have several friends who make a great deal of money, have beautiful wives (or handsome husbands), lovely children, nice homes, etc. and are still living their lives as if they were living out a prison sentence– going to their jobs day in and day out complaining about everything. By most people’s standards, they “have it all,” but they are still not happy.
So many people I know have achieved great success in their areas of specialty– but they are still not happy.
“How can this be?” you might ask. It’s simple. Because achievement does not bring happiness.
We have all been sold a fiction. We have all been told to work hard, marry well, achieve success, have great kids, live in a good neighborhood, and we will be happy.
The truth is– that’s not true.
Happiness comes from the inside. It is a state that we achieve no matter what our external circumstances are.
In fact, when we achieve a state of internal happiness, the external world begins to reflect our internal state and we create all of the things that we want in life– except when we do it this way, we can actually enjoy them.
How do we create this state of internal happiness?
Well, it doesn’t happen overnight. It takes some work. And a lot of honesty. But all the work is well worth it. I detail a concrete plan towards the creation of this type of happiness in my book, 360 Degree Success.
So, if you’re struggling in your life right now, working hard, trying to “get to” a time and place when you think you’ll be successful and happy, I hope you take a moment to consider what we’re discussing here.
And if you’re already in a place in life where you “have it all,” but are still not satisfied with the way you are leading your life– it’s never too late to change.
